Letterman Top 10 List – Demands of the Striking Writers

David Letterman returned to the air on Wednesday. The first show since the writer’s strike began 8 weeks ago. Much to his credit, Letterman struck a deal with the Writers Guild of America, allowing writers to come back to work. The only major TV figure to have done so.

The Top 10 list was performed and written by striking writers from the Colbert Report, The Daily Show, his own show, Conan O’Brien, and others. An impressive gathering of writing talent.

David Letterman’s Top 10 list

“Demands of the Striking Writers,”

10. “Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer” — Tim Carvell, from “The Daily Show.”

9. “No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines” — Laura Krafft, from “The Colbert Report.”

8. “Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester” — Melissa Salmons, writer for daytime TV.

7. “Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for” — Warren Leight, writer for “Law & Order: Criminal Intent.”

6. “No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier” — Jay Katsir, from “The Colbert Report.”

5. “I’d like a date with a woman” — Steve Bodow, from “The Daily Show.”

4. “Hazard pay for breaking up fights on `The View'” — from writer and director Nora Ephron.

3. “I’m no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?” — Gina Johnfrido of “Law & Order.”

2. “I don’t have a joke. I just want to remind everyone that we’re on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list” — Chris Albers from Conan O’Brien’s “Late Night.”

1. “Producers must immediately remove their heads from their —–” — author Alan Zwiebel.


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